Lowfidelity.com did unsolicited reviews and this one was a doozy! Too bad the site is down now.
I've received two unsolicited
reviews by Listen.com
Over the last several years or so my music has been reviewed by various people. I've included some here so you can get an idea what my stuff sounds like, and you can see that some people actually like it! Not included are reviews where people say I suck, my songs sound like long intros, or the songs are too short. Actually, I haven't really had any harsh ones which is probably because people are too damn nice. All of these are online reviews, and I'm looking to submit some stuff for printed review soon!
Lowfidelity.com did unsolicited reviews and this one was a doozy! Too bad the site is down now.
I've received two unsolicited reviews by Listen.com
If all my reviews at garageband.com were like this, I would have a chance!
Starkell of the now defunct Gardening With Alice at the MP3.com Critics Corner is brutally honest so I take him seriously:Pitchfork Review - Listening to Tarantula. Zappa Noir. Short and Sweet song about our 8 legged friends indeed. Great big bass throughout. Nice Ebow work. What a handy little device. The vocal work is very reminiscent of Frank Zappa. Almost scarily so. Phrasing and tone is way too similar. Great Lo-Fi feeling. Song kinda "creeps" along. Could see a low budget vid going along with this. Mix is a little muddy in places but I don't think that is really to be worried about in this song. Cool Thunder samples at the beginning really create an atmosphere. Could see a band playing in a club in some little town and all these Spiders wandering in ordering Crickets. Diggin'. Don't know if I would call this avant rock though. Kind of undefinable. Very cool. Peace.
Daniel Clay Downs also reviewed Tarantula:
This song is almost like Jesus and the Mary Chain in some ways, in parts, but with a stronger, deeper, acid rock/jazzier feel. Love and Rockets? It has that old spy/detective movie soundtrack feel. Mancini's Peter Gunn, but calmer and smoother? This song is actually in a way more than a song. It actually paints a picture in your mind more than just plant a melody and some chords. Even that isn't really an appropriate description. You just HAVE to hear this is all I can say! It is artistic, clever, and unique, but not so far out or unusual you can't get into it easily.This song would suit any songster lover, even a techno lover, since it has something for everyone in it, even the ones who want to hear tight clever virtuoso virtual musicians I think. Also, this is the Best Spider Song I've heard yet. It even tops Boris the Spider byThe Who! Pitchfork is not just another Rock-n-Roll guy, but a real Recording Artist. Very refreshing to hear this actually. I am impressed! You guessed it already! I give this song 5 out of 5 stars, for good songwriting, playing, recording quality, etc.. * * * * *
Gordon Bell of Gustav Bertha (among other things) reviewed an entire CD:
A while ago Greg of Pitchfork Review sent me his Fanelli Cafe CD. It was actually while I was still in Switzerland. It has accompanied me on minidisk on quite a few long train journeys providing a very strange and audio fullness to those trips. This music is not for the faint hearted. It's very experimental. If anyone's ever heard Fred Frith's old man and the sea album (I think that's the title) they'll have some picture of what this is about. This stuff swings with ease from catchy to weird to psychotic to tripped out to manic, ...and Greg pulls this off very easily. It's been recorded on a four track which you won't believe when you hear how great it sounds. Pitchfork Review is a true talent in our midst. This will of course never sell well...but that's not its raison d'etre. What a pity so much music these days has that sole purpose, it makes finding gems like this very hard. Thank you very much indeed for this!
1. TarantulaCreepy edgy number sporting finely organic sounds very suited to well a song about spiders actually. I really like this one '...visits from our eight- legged friends, crawling in through the cracks.' It has a very appealing slow groove...and those drums just sound great.
2. The Work Bottle
A manic trip through demented flamenco finishing up with guys talking about work, sauce and very strange things during atmospheric almost cynical music.
3. Fiddle
This is a funny one. Very short. About a little guy trying to fix something.
4. Machine
Aptly clockwork sounding number with wonderfully edgy vocals. This one kind of reminds me of spaced out children's tv programmes we used to get in the early 70s in the UK.
5. El Cuchillo de la Cocina
This track is bloody great. All the rhythms are done with kitchen utensils. The knives feature a starring roll in an edgy pas de deux with the child's voice at the end. Fantastic stuff.
6. Punishment
The bass slap in this punches you so hard in the groin it feels like, well, punishment actually...but the sound of it is just so delicious it is anything but. Could it be I'm into S&M? Counterpointed with trademark pitchfork review edginess and vocal samples.
7. Only Human
If it wasn't for the slide into spacey wierdness a la pink floyd with a raspy clockwork hardness I'd almost think this was Cronos. The drums once more so good I want them to accompany my vegeterian kebab as a spicy side dish.
8. The Way We Are
Did I say Pink Floyd for the track before? I was really thinking of this one. This is very reminiscent of Dark Side of the Moon. It's like making the music ten times more minimalist and ambient and increasing the samples. Where does he get them? They are so strange. Fine stuff.
9. Avin
Floaty summers day number. You're lying in a huge grassy field next to a bleached wooden shed probably stoned out of your tree. This had a kind of Cronos feel to it too. Nice slide guitar gives a strong echoes feel.
10. This is Everyday
This one's an excercise in nastiness. What is going here? It's like wasps crawling up and down your legs threatening to sting your genitals.
11. Secret War
Bit of a political statement about government in the USA. Don't ask me what exactly it's all about. Some latin american pleading...'tell me no'. Wierd stuff. It had a very resonant bass right at the start that caught my fancy.
12. Rainforest Crunch
Whatever next? this time I hear ping pong being played amogst other things. The keyboard is so tinny it'd great. I know what the whirring noise is from somewhere...come on Greg, what is it? ....and Here comes the Bride! Wow....finishes with well...Rainforest/Farm type noises.
13. Aflakete
Good relaxing track to contrast with the previous wierdness. Again kind of an Eastern mediteraenean vibe through this.
14. Monk Triad
An edgy piece made up of different elements. Greg, is that a Roland keyboard you have in here? Some D70-ish sounds...
15. Mind
A return for our hero to the central theme of this hypo trip through the deeper anxieties of the human psyche. The percussion touches on this are excellent. And the Banjo? switching out to the bass just sounds Mmmmmmm!
16. Traffic
I'd have called this one the locker room...'cause it kind of sounds like a psychotic audio pot pourri of just such a place. Something strangely erotic...or is that just me again.
17. New Blue Light Special
This was extremely trippy. I can't really say much more than that. Just as well I don't get flashbacks.
18. Tonal Agnosia
A very mouthy sounding number. Is this done with teeth? I can't be sure. Spooky!
19. The Desire of the Righteous
Jeeezus! Where do you get this stuff? Don't tell me you do these yourself. The outro made me smile.
20. Whisper
Something of another return to the central theme...I feel...whatever it might be. Life in our times, maybe with a psychotic twist. Great bass textures in this between the guitars.
21. Acoustic Thang
This one's a tasty little acoutic guitar number. There's quite a few parts going on and Greg shows off his banjo skills...yeeeehah!
22. The Ringleader
Phew, those bass frequencies that come through in this music are fantastic. They really do grab me very strongly. Not quite sure what this one's all about....quite scary criminal child murder legal story...bare lightbulb swinging banjo outro is very fitting
23. Private Meadows
The freneticism of this psycho surf guitar piece is a suprise given the title.
24. Deconstruction
another very trippy number...elements of spooky sandpaper gritted with treble oozing out in a satisfyingly honey laden manner...It's a bit like an audio interpretation of firework display done underwater...
25. Bajourou
More accoustic niceness to redress the balance of strangeness.
26. Truth of the Matter
A very strange wee guitar looping song with metal percussiveness.
27. Smirnoff
Aptly Russian sounding number with synth string pulling a jerky little voyage through the smirnoff bottle.
28. Universal Blather
This is almost certainly the requiem for the album. Very dark, but then there's these dolphins that make everything OK.
....as I have done each time after listening to this CD.I sit somewhat stunned...
Ian Simpson of the The Beaker People also reviewed an entire CD:I had the great honour of receiving a CD from Greg of Pitchfork Review a month or so back and ever since then I've promised him a review. Like Gordon Bell before I was amazed by the talent of this guy - he seems to have this skill to pick out the rhythm and sounds of everyday objects and actions and make masterpieces with them. If you haven't heard of him before and wonder what I'm wibbling about - DON'T READ THE REVIEW! - get yourself straight over to his site and download all of his songs... you won't regret it! OK - here we go. Here's the review of the entire CD... enjoy...
tarantulanice bass intro to this song - the sound of a storm in the background really adds to this - especially when it is the opening track! The tale of the tarantulas (tarantuli?) coming into houses after the rain is nice.
the work bottle
wow - this is a mad one! Spanish accoustic guitar rushing through the song until it hits the brick wall of samples (where do you get these from?) talking about drinking and love. Perfect way to finish this song!
fiddle
schizo-vocals in this song - reminicent of Rain Man in execution - very quick and aggitated song. You say "there's something wrong here" - I don't think there is! Ah, this is about fixing a car isn't it?
duff
about someone you know? someone who beat up people when he was drunk?? I love the instrument that sounds like a spring and the vocals are nicely double-tracked.
machine
A typical day at work! Starts with the alarm clock and the banjo takes you through the motions as you realise you're late! You fool! Is this about Duff too? Kind of merges the Work Bottle and Duff together - is there a rational person underneath?
el cuchillo de la cocina
reviewed this one before - I just love it! The percussion with pans is exellent and the knives being sharpened just make me wary of ever meeting you!
punishment
sounds a little bit like kraftwerk or similar - very industrial sounding. It's just a bass guitar with lots of samples in the background, but this is a good instrumental!
only human
here's that banjo again! This time layered over the top of some very distorted guitar. The chorus is so simple yet the samples of the crowd enthusing about something build it up into something so affecting! Minimal vocals in this song, but this is one of my favourite songs on the CD.
the way we are
cash registers, spacey sounds and motorbike engine revs build up this song. it sounds like we're travelling backwards through the subject's life - in the middle is a religious chant (but done very aggressively) and it ends with what sounds like a nursery mobile fading out into the next song....
avin
bluegrass guitar with some deep south slide in there too. a couple of samples, but very inconspicuous - if you removed them you'd be forgiven for thinking this way a piece of music from the TV show "Due South". I like it!
this is everyday
straight from that mellow piece of lovelyness to this angry guitar piece - with speeded up samples of an arguement? The vocals in this piece sound quite evil, but possibly could be made more affecting by double tracking and slowing down the second vocal line. You know what I mean? Like the Exorcist film or something similar.
secret war
political statement. speeded up vocals sound like the mice from "Bagpuss" (you might not know it over in the US - it was a BIG UK Childrens TV hit) - are the samples in this song Russian? I couldn't make out what they were saying....
rainforest crunch
again the speeded up vocals make up the base of this song, but are joined this time with a dot-matrix printer and someone playing table tennis! Add to that some groovy elevator musak and a maniac answerphone rotating through the week days. This is a total mish-mash of samples, from church organs playing the wedding march, then the death march. Then it all goes quiet and builds up an amazing wall of sound with animal samples and one man echoing "hello?". To me this song takes you into the future to what might be - starting from the present where we are using all the natural resources of the planet at an incredible rate through to the death knell of life, where mothr nature has enough and toe-punts us into oblivion. Then with the destructors gone, she can start all over again and rule supreme over the earth. Nice thought....
aflakete
this song made me want to go out and buy a thumb piano! then I realised Alan already had one - what luck! Mellow guitar instrumental with the thumb piano forming the rhythm section with a solitary shaker. Ah....
the monk triad
instrumental built up with lots of layers of keyboard playing. Sounds a bit like a computer game to me - can't remember which one, but it might well have been "Fairlight" on the Spectrum. The way the song builds up the tempo to the end is really well done, and it adds to the tension in the song!
mind
back to the guitar and the samples! this is quite a straightforward rocking song, it's got quite a beat! Very little vocals in this song but lots of instruments! Watch out for the excellent banjo solo.
traffic on coffee
this made me head ache! very strange track with 2 second clips of speeded up noises (coughing, screaming) - it's very unsettling and could quite easily be used in a Hedex advert (if they wanted to sell more!) - a good song, but don't listen to it through headphones!
new blue light special
This is a hard one to review. I've listened to it and listened to it, but it doesn't evoke ANY kind of emotion or feeling from me. Which is REALLY strange. I neither love it or hate it, it just flows over me. I have to say with this song you have accomplished a first.... i just don't know how to feel after listening to this song - and it worries me! So I suppose that's the emotion - worry. Commenting on the music, I like the way the echoed feedback leads into the song, almost sounds like this part could be done with a string quartet - with cello and violin playing stacatto notes while the samples dance and whizz around them. A very strange song, but then that's nothing new here is it?
tonal agnosia
i don't think anyone's ever tried to record termite songs before, but if they did I'm sure it would sound like this! Listening on headphones it feels like they're eating away at my skull, heading for the brain.... mmmm...
desire of the righteous
put a preacher to psychadelic keyboard and this is what you'll get!
whisper
I like this song, but without really understanding it - banjo is the standout instrument in this song - it really picks it up, makes the mood of the song so different!
accoustic thang
a hyper bluegrass jam with banjo and guitar - can almost imagine the pixies dancing to this one.
the ringleader
such a sad story. lots of reports of the same crime layered over each other. very evoking. Minimal instruments make this all the more powerful.
private meadows
back in the realms of computer game music? this is a quick bounce through the mind of a very psychotic sounding gentleman who is retelling the tale of a marine guard who was claiming he was Jesus. Ah, Private Meadows.... NOW I geddit! Short but sweet!
deconstruction
starts with the sound of someone destroying something with a hammer. Then seems to go into fast forward - this could really do with an arty video. Middle sequence seems to evoke the same kind of feelings as Rainforest Crunch does - it sounds to me like the entire world is being deconstructed in a calm and peaceful manner. The ending sounds like the man who was destroying things with the hammer is being sucked into oblivion - but it's probably just a dentist's suction tube! If this is a preview of judgement day, be very afraid - it'll probably just sneak up on you...
bajourou
Be hypnotized as you listen to this one. This sounds like a jam in the middle of the desert - nothing around but a campfire,a full moon and 3 friends. One has just grappled with a rattle snake and won, and is now using its tail as percussion. Another is playing a riff repeatedly, while the third just makes up the lead line as they go along... you are just lying back looking at the stars.... waiting for the acid to kick in and everything to merge.......
truth of the matter
"truth of the maaatter, truth of the maaaater!" he repeats over a hypnotic, yet uplifting guitar riff. If you took a children's playground rhyme and added a great instrument to it - this is probably close to what you'd end up with. Minimal lyrics (those aren't the only lyrics above) -but it's a nice little song.
smirnoff
Take a polka through this song - many layered stacatto violin leads you a merry dance (it obviously helps if you're well lubricated, if you know what I mean....) - if you don't - read the title again!
the new student
I think this is samples of african school children. The instrumentation in this song makes it sound so forlorn and sad, I really want to know what they're saying, even though I know it doesn't matter! :/ gnnnngh!
universal blather
sounds of a clock chiming a very patronising tune - then sounds of someone (a prisoner?) trying to call for help, but he's gagged or something. This makes me feel quite claustrophobic! Later in the song there's a baby crying and wolves howling, which confused me a little but all in all it really evoked some strong feelings - a disturbing way to end the CD....
Overall I can safely say that if you haven't heard of Pitchfork Review yet, you won't regret a trip to his page - get all his tunes - email him and offer to buy a CD - offer him recording contracts by the dozen! He won't go away, and he keeps getting better by the minute!
